is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
