She's JV to your varsity
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
