trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do vagina's smell?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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