Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
