Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
