Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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