Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
