I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
