So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
