I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
im six kinds of drunk right now
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
