I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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