love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
