If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
