mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i drank out of a bidet.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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