dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
