apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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