Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
