that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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