Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
