If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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