I wanna bring you to show and tell
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
