I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
