but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Randomize
