I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
