I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
