she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
