I wish I could punch you in the face.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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