i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
