You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
