apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
