Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hippo gnu deer
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
