I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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