i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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