just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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