I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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