well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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