I'm jealous of your bromance
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
