She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
