he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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