Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
