he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
