I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
