It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
