The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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