my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
