"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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