god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
