Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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