I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
