One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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