All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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