i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
