My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
