why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
