some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
