He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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