sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
