My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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