Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Do vagina's smell?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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